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You read that, Jenna? “Marry me, Jeff, all my friends are getting married, why not us?” Because living together is just as good! I’m glad you’re moving back with your mother! I… I should see someone about this, shouldn’t I?
BEACON TRANSCRIPT – Psychology, in its inception, started as the science researching the human soul. Even its etymology says so, as it can be directly translated into Latin as ‘study of the soul’. Over the years, the science has focused more on helping people live happier lives, and this cannot be done without first researching. Well, in a recent study, psychologists have proven living together more beneficial than marriage.
The researchers performing the study used data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1997. Using a sample of 8,700 people who were born between 1980 and 1984, interviewed once every two years from 2000 to 2010, the psychologists looked for patterns linking emotional distress levels with couples moving together or getting married. The results were, according to the specialists, surprisingly positive.
As recently as 1990, people still reported getting a high boost of emotional health benefits when getting married. According to the study, over the years, the situation has improved, our cultural and emotional mentality has matured, and marriage started becoming less important.
Today, young women get the same amount of emotional health benefits when moving in as they get when moving directly to marriage. Not to be misunderstood, if a young woman were to move in with her lover and then get married afterwards, the emotional boost would only apply to the first one.
This might seem like one less source of happiness, and it probably is, as people today are, in general, a lot more miserable than they used to be a decade or two ago, but it also shows an increased level of emotional maturity.
Another interesting find was that the emotional boost is not limited to first relationships. People back in the day used to invest a lot more emotionally during a first relationship, experiencing a serious rise I their emotional distress when it was over.
The study shows that that is no longer the case, as people are choosing better for themselves the second time around, leading to both a decrease in emotional distress when the relationship is over, and an increase in emotional health benefits when moving in or getting married to a second life partner.
The case for men is slightly different, as they are less likely to experience a boost in emotional well-being in either situation, since they are more likely to see moving in together as a test of their relationship, one often leading to subsequent love life problems.
Image source: Pixabay
Another interesting study but misinterpreted and especially misconstrued by the media. I hope the authors of the study will pay attention to those speaking out about this kind of error– such as Dr. Bella DePaulo (Singlism/Living Single). There is no way that it is “more beneficial” in the sense that all you have to do is choose to live together and you’ll have all the benefits—rather, it is that those who have the good relationship are *able* to choose to do this, and it works. I tell you, living together would be just as bad as marriage (or as good, however you want to look at it) if it were a condition forced on us by society.
These stories are harmful in that they continue our society’s obsession with marriage/living together. It isn’t a cure all. It is only better for those for whom it is better; otherwise marriage is better for those for whom it is better; and staying single is better for those for whom it is better to stay single. None of thse are a “pill” for better living…. Better living is the only way to live better.